"An amateur player’s tale of woe"

#PokemonGO: Edit: This is a very “expressive” and unnecessarily detailed story. If you don’t want all the fluff, read the tl;dr at the bottom.You see, I’m a simple man. I don’t spend stardust or candies by the dozens. I store them, I value them, I cherish them. It’s not often that you’ll see me using more than what is required. But today, oh, a sad day it is. Although a small bump in the road in the eyes of an experienced veteran, this experience was a monumental defeat to a casual plebeian such as I. Please, take a seat, and let me tell you my tale of woe.My workplace is located in a rather busy area, littered with those oh so glorious pokestops. So, from time to time, I may pause my work for the smallest moment and whip out my device to check for any new little creatures for me to catch in this mystical, wondrous world we call Pokémon GO. On this particular day, I hadn’t even been loaded in for a minute, when a cheery little Horsea spawned right at my feet. It felt like fate for our paths to cross. You see, I have put in hours upon hours stocking up on this very candy, and had only needed just the slightest bit more to finally ascend my Seadra into a Kingdra. I am nowhere near any sort of body of water, so I take every watery encounter very seriously. As any right minded individual would have done, I initiated an encounter with the adorable bubbly waterhorse. Oh, if I had only known the torment this demon would rain upon my life.Floating there with its “cute-but-deadly” attitude, the Horsea impatiently awaited my throw. But not so fast, little one. You see, I have a very special little treat for you. One that will help me finally achieve my goal. It is bulbous, yellow, and looks vaguely like a pineapple. After bestowing this fruit unto my precious target, and verifying I would in fact get my bonus, I wound up my finger for the cast of the century. With greatball in hand, I began to form a circular motion on my screen. Like an old warplane taking flight once more, the slow circling built up into a whirring ball of kinetic energy, just ready to pounce. Analyzing the position of the ‘mon, I meticulously calculated the precise angles needed to be accounted for. I steadily lined up my shot, and made the crucial “flick.”The perfect throw.1 wobble.2 wobble.3.“Click.”Had a coworker stumbled by me in my brief moment of bliss, they would have come to the conclusion that I had won some great prize, such as a lottery. But I had done better. I had finally completed my quest of obtaining all the candies required to finally upgrade my carefully nurtured Seadra. Many months had built up to this moment, relying on faulty GPS systems and slow car rides, as well as completely random encounters to grind out the candies needed to ultimately get here. My time had come.I was ready.Fate was not.As I had established earlier, all of these events transpired within my workplace. One can’t be too careful when putting off hours to graze the fields of Pokémon. You see, my physical emotions of victory could only transpire for a moment, because the instant the stars of a successful capture had sprung, I began to hear footsteps walking directly to my desk. I knew this wouldn’t be a good look for someone such as myself, almost being caught on multiple occasions prior. In one sweep of the finger, I tabbed away from the app, and shoved my phone into my pocket rougher and faster than a 3 year old could stuff a DVD player with cookies. And not a moment too soon. As I was raising my hand back up to my desk, an individual with direct authority above me came into my vision. Thankfully, it had appeared as though nothing suspicious had been seen. I was in the clear.Or so I had thought.After a brief chat with my superior, it was finally time to relish in my victory. With my particular variant of phone, revealing my various tabs opens them in the middle of the screen, leading off to the left. And lo and behold, on the first tab I see, there is my precious little Horsea, awaiting my return. I tapped my screen.I am a fool. The greatest fool to every take part within the world of Pokémon. I have had a troubling experience in the past with tabbing back into the app, as wherever I tapped on the tab to return to the app, it would also tap within that same spot inside the game. I knew this already. I knew this. How could I have been so stupid.Let me establish yet again: I am not quite as experienced as some other folks out there. Yes, I do have my fair share of shinies and high CP’s, but I dedicate nowhere NEAR the time that others do. However, I may not have sunk as many days into the game, but I have sunk my heart into it. And this.This hurt.As the app returned to cover my screen, a notification had popped up. Being a rather “frightened” individual by things going unexpectedly, I did the first thing my mind told me to do. “Tap the big green button.” It was, in fact, a foolish idea to think that tapping “yes” meant “yes, close this notification.” When had it ever meant that? Again, I had known this. But for whatever reason, all logic had left me in that moment. My entire screen darkened, and all I could see now was my newly caught Horsea slowly begin to ascend to gain whatever powers I had accidentally just bestowed upon it. In a panic, I closed the game as quickly as I could.But it was too late. The deed was done.I cautiously opened the app, hoping for some sort of miracle. Maybe I canceled the transaction taking place? Maybe I stopped the event before a certain checkpoint? These were all false hopes to believe in. I loaded in, opened up my storage, and selected the Horsea.What was this? TWO charged moves? My confusion floored me. I had no recollection of being able to add a third move onto Pokémon. Was this some sort of rare glitch? I decided to check another Pokémon, and see if there was some feature that I was missing. As my eyes scrolled down the screen, I felt a pit open up in my stomach. I had completely forgotten about the optional “new attack” button. I never used it on a Pokémon before, probably because of how much it costed.Oh no.Swiping back to the Horsea, I looked in horror at the aftermath of my critical mistake. Half my stardust. Gone. Half my candies. Gone. It was as if Thanos himself collected all 6 infinity gym badges and snapped my Pokédreams in half. All those hours poured into this journey, for nothing. Vanished. Gone. Kaput.Wasted all on a smug little seahorse. I was devastated.Of course, I’m not letting this vile creature turn my mistake into an unrepairable decision.You know sure as heck I evolved that son of a gun. He wants to steal all my progress? Fine. He’s getting it. And the beating of a lifetime.I will get my stardust back. I will get my candies back. I will purposely hold this monster on the front line of every legendary raid within a 50 mile radius, watching him die over and over again, only to revive him as a meat shield for the next raid. I will grind him through the blazes of battle, ensuring I win every raid until I restore all my lost stardust. I will walk him to the ends of the earth until I restore all my lost candies. I will receive justice. He WILL become the Kingdra that was so easily torn from my grasp. Even if that means beating him into it, one Hyperbeam to the face at a time.tl;dr: Accidentally hit the “new attack” button on a Horsea, wasting half my candies and dust on it, when I had been saving them for months so I could evolve a Seadra.Edit (#2): Holy crap, thank you for the silver. That’s the first award I’ve ever gotten. Thank you for making my day :) via /r/pokemongo https://ift.tt/2YuTEQi