"I found a sentence to summarize the Pokemon games: Blastoise has never used his cannons."

To explain, let me tell you a story. A story about cannons, laziness, disappointment, and heartbreak.I have been with the Pokemon franchise for the longest time. In my 25 years on this earth, I don’t think I ever stuck with a franchise more than I have for this one. That’s not to say I only ever obsess about Pokemon and that I annoy the people around me with it constantly. It’s just that it’s etched its way into my personality in a way that no other gaming franchise has because of how long it has been around. This is a story of how my love for a single Pokemon, could actively explain Game Freak’s complacency and overall lack of passion for their games for at the very least, the last 5 years. This as we know, is one of the things dividing the community presently, and incidentally, has led me to not playing a Pokemon game for the first time.I first played Pokemon Blue on the Game Boy, but I never really finished it. I remember this because it was actually my older sister’s device and I just borrowed it from time to time. The first game I actually finished was Ruby. But looking back on Pokemon’s first release, as games, as toys, as an anime, the one Pokemon that really held my childhood, was Blastoise. Yes, Pokemon No. 009. The Shellfish Pokemon. I liked turtles when I was a young lad, and seeing one who evolved into a giant turtle with freaking cannons on its back was mind-blowing. I don’t know why it got me, but it did. Even though I was fond of a lot other Pokemon designs, no one really struck me like this fat turtle with unexplained firearms protruding from its shell. Growing up and at the present, I grab every Blastoise figure I can find. I own over 13 toys of this boy, which doesn’t seem to be a lot, but trust me, they’re rarer than you’d think. In the games, I always chose Squirtle as a starter if he is available and I’ve bred over 9 different competitive variations of this guy, including tank builds, sp. attacker builds, shinies, megas, you name it. I levelled all of them up to 100 and basically just add a Blastoise to every competitive team I build. I do know though that he really isn’t competitively viable. I just cling to the fact that maybe I could win some OU games with him on my team and have a sense of accomplishment (not a lot, but I did win some). In summary, my Pokemon experience will not be complete unless I have some iteration of Blastoise around. It is what it is.Now that we’ve established that I suck major Blastoise dick, let’s focus our attention to the meat of this story. Now, as I’ve mentioned, I love Blastoise’s design mainly due to the inexplicable cannons that grew on its back after evolving from a Wartortle. So naturally, I’d like to see those cannons be used, right? Right.However, there isn’t a single Pokemon game which had Blastoise using his cannons to shoot, let’s say, a Hydro Pump, his signature Move, or any other similar ones. Not a single game in the main franchise did this.Funnily enough, Stadium, Colosseum, and Pokemon Battle Revolution, games not made by Game Freak, actually used the cannons for the Move animations, and they generally have better quality than most 3D Pokemon games, so what does that say about Game Freak?You can fact check me on it, but I know this by heart. Though I do know the Hydro Pump is not exclusive to Blastoise, it’s just always the Move associated with the Pokemon and I’d like to see two streams of water come out from the two cannons on its shell. Though, realistically, why choose Hydro Pump when Surf is much more competitively practical right?’ Yeah, I know, but forgive me for wanting my STAB moves to be a little bit flashier and actually make use of my favorite Pokemon’s design. But I am not an idiot. I know that Pokemon Moves are generally made to suit every Pokemon Sprite when using that specific Move. I figure that each Sprite has a “focal point” where the Move will be coming out from or be emitted from. Especially with “beam” like Moves, i.e., when the Flamethrower Move comes out of a Pokemon, it’s generally coming from where the head of the Pokemon is located with respect to the viewing angle. I don’t know much about game design, but I know that no reasonable developer would make each Move different for each Pokemon. So, they designed it in a way that it would seem more organic even if the same Move is used by a different mon. This, however, becomes an issue for Pokemon like Blastoise because he is designed in a way that a part of his body, in this case, the cannons, evoke a sense of where the attacks SHOULD come from. But of course, they aren’t going to single out every Pokemon designed this way just so it will be more accurate when they perform Moves (they can if they want, though). There are some exceptions like Legendaries and their signature Moves, but my boy isn’t so special in that regard. So, you can imagine, for the longest time, I watched my Blastoise(s) perform Hydro Pumps, Ice Beams, Water Pulses, Hydro Cannons, and various other “beam” moves with each one coming out from either the mouth, the face, the ears, the cheeks, or wherever that isn’t the bloody cannons. I can, however, excuse the static Sprites of Gens I-IV in this regard because, well, they’re static and there really isn’t anything to be done at that point. But I did hope that at least one Generation could get that sweet spot where it looks like the cannons are being put to use. Anyhow, I played Gen V which introduced moving Sprites. It took me a while get my hands on Kanto starters in this Gen, but I did get them and I was hopeful for my Gen V Blastoise’s Move animations. But yeah, ya’ll know that didn’t happen. Hydro Pump was especially terrible in this Gen. Go check it out, it’s just really meh compared to other Gen V Move animations. So, five Generations and still no luck, I carry on.But then, in 2012, they released the Pokedex 3D Pro. A 3DS app that showcases all the existing Pokemon back then in updated 3D. I never played the spin-off 3DS games like PBR and XD so 3D Pokemon were new and exciting territory for me. After purchasing the app on the eShop, you just know which 3D Pokemon I peeped first.LO, AND BEHOLD. BLASTOISE WAS FIRING WATER FROM HIS CANNONS. Not an impressive volume of water, but water nonetheless. I thought to myself “Holy shit! It IS possible!” It was true hype. A few months after that, they announced X and Y, the first mainline 3D Pokemon games and my 16-year old ass was literally jumping for joy.Little did I know that the Pokedex 3D Pro and the transition to 3D was the beginning of Game Freak’s very problematic complacency... (More on this later)What happened after the XY announcement was complete euphoria, every single thing was hype. They introduced Mega Evolutions, and boy, oh boy, oh boy. Assuming you’re still reading along, you’d have a guess by now which Mega I was a having a huge Poke-boner for. I mean, THREE CANNONS?? THREE GODDAMN CANNONS?? FUCK! I was foaming at the mouth. I told myself, “Surely, surely, I’m finally going to get my heart’s desires, right??”WRONG.The Moves were coming from the Pokemon’s Mouth. The goddamn mouth. Though they gave Blastoise a few new moves to make sense of the extra cannons and the new Ability, Mega Launcher, the move animations were so laughable that I wasn’t even mad. Three freaking cannons and Hydro Pump was still coming out of its mouth. Hilarious. Even Aura Sphere and Dragon Pulse were victims to this, and you bet your sweet ass that base-Blastoise’s cannons were also still ridiculously unused.They did manage to fix this a bit in Sun and Moon. The Moves were a positioned a little higher and Blastoise does this “aiming” animation, which kind of makes it look like he’s using the big guns, but nah. It’s still mostly just coming from his forehead.2018, came and introduced the Let’s Go games. Though I liked the fact that they brought back Pokemon following you around, like most people, I was sick of Kanto at this point so I did not pick it up. But wait, this is the first Pokemon game on the Switch, Nintendo’s most powerful console to date. Maybe, just maybe, this game is gonna deliver, given the fact that it’s a Kanto remake so the spotlight isn’t too far from my boy. Right? RIGHT??WRONG AGAIN.I watched a video showcasing the moves because I sure as hell wasn’t gonna buy a Switch console and a $60 spin-off game just for a single Move animation. I know I may sound obsessed, but that’s not the only thing I want out of a Pokemon game. But, as what I’ve come to expect at this point, nothing has changed. The 3D models look the same, just prettied up for the console. And of course, the goddamn water was still coming from Blastoise’s face. Because why should they change? This is Pokemon, after all.But THEN, 2019 came and they announced Pokemon Sword and Shield. The first mainline games on the Switch. I got my hopes way up, because why shouldn’t I? Mario Odyssey is a thing. Breath of the Wild is a thing. Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is a thing. Surely, Game Freak, Creatures, and The Pokemon Company with their $95 BILLION net worth can produce a game as ground breaking as its contemporaries? MAYBE THE ANIMATIONS THIS TIME AROUND WILL FINALLY BRING HAPPINESS TO MY HEART, RIGHT? RIGHT???Wrong.Dexit was the thing. My most favorite Pokemon isn’t even on this game, there aren’t even any cannons I can look forward to. Mind you, this is only one of the multitude of reasons why I’m am not buying this game at all. You see, I touched upon the Pokedex 3D Pro for being the beginning of GF’s lazy streak, and I think I hit the nail on the head, and here’s why:The 3D models they used for that app served as the blueprints for all the 3D models found on all games that followed. It was unfortunate because every Sprite in every game changed per Generation. Gen V moved on to animated Sprites and VI started 3D. I’m not saying they should have remade the 3D models for each game in the 3DS. Recreating 807 models from scratch for a handheld console is a senseless task. So, I didn’t mind it too much when the same models were used in until Gen VII. Sadly though, Pokemon Move animations were still reused, albeit updated by a tiny bit, they were still the same skeletons since XY. But that’s fine, to be honest. They’re handheld games. They did the best they could and actually delivered great games by Pokemon standards.But Sword and Shield is a Switch game, dammit. A console where the aforementioned Nintendo greats exist. I’m not asking for a Breath of the Wild-esque open world Pokemon game, but at least something that’ll give that game a run for its money. Instead we get a game that looks like a 3DS game dialed up to twenty, and that’s not good by today’s standards. They have the audacity to charge $60 for this yet we get the same 3D models, reused animations, bare bones environments and half of the existing Pokemon. I could actually forgive the reusing of assets. Game devs do that all the time, I mean, it is a sensible thing to do. But to actively use the excuse of claiming “high quality animations” for cutting the Pokedex was just profoundly stupid. People with brains can clearly see that this “quality” is absent just from watching the trailers--the goddamn trailers. This is one of the biggest, reddest red flags I’ve ever seen. You can say that they were pressed for time in development, but with $95 Billion, or even just the $17 Billion Game Freak is worth, they can buy all the time in this world--metaphorically speaking. I mean, they could have easily outsourced some help if they really needed to. With that money they could buy my lifetime 100 times over. So, I don’t think any amount of excusing and defending will do here. A game worth $50 million dollars should by all means, look aesthetically pleasing. If it’s made with passion and by devs who care, it can even nab awards, it can make history, be acclaimed, be Game of the Year. Hell, a $100 game can make GOTY if done with passion. Smaller companies do so much more for so much less. You could imagine what a game worth, let’s say $100 million (at the minimum), plus passionate developers can accomplish. So, how come the highest selling media franchise in history can’t even afford to give a damn. Or at least, a damn worth commending.Now, I maybe too harsh and too bitter sounding here. Game Freak and the Pokemon Company are by no means evil. They aren’t candidates for worst company in the world. The new Pokemon designs are actually really good. It’s the gameplay and animations that are not up to par. They just seem so complacent and lazy. The worst adjective I can probably think of is apathetic. See, I know for a fact that the main games were never the concern for the longest time. They were just platforms to introduce new Pokemon in. That makes way for new merch, toys, trading cards, etc. They really don’t care if their new game is GOTY-worthy. People will still buy it. They won’t care if people are outraged by Dexit, because their game will still make bank. They won’t give two shits if you think that their new games are mediocre. They feel so out of touch with the fanbase. Keep in mind that all these criticisms don’t necessarily mean the game is unplayable. By all accounts SwSh are still Pokemon games. They are still products from years of tried and tested recipes. But in the same vein, they are still games that never try to actually innovate. Games that never break formula because the formula works. Games that produce the same thing again and again, year after year, knowing people will still buy them. In truth, there’s nothing wrong with that, but majority of the time, the quality that longtime fans expect and deserve is sacrificed. It’s also sadder when you see other game franchises succeed in trying new things and actually introduce innovation in their games. I am only this critical because this is, or sadly, was, my favorite franchise. It’s like seeing a friend you care so much about do the same thing he always does, while you know deep in your heart, he has the capability to do so much more, but he never really does, despite your constant hopes that he will. It breaks my heart to think that if they really, truly, tried and delivered something to be proud of, we can have, dare I say it, the very best like no Pokemon game ever was.But that’s just it isn’t it? Will we ever see this franchise try? Will we ever experience a Pokemon game truly worthy of praise and acclamation? Will we ever feel that Game Freak and The Pokemon Company truly care what the fanbase thinks? Do our opinions even really matter?And most importantly, will we ever see Blastoise use its cannons?TL;DR The Pokemon Blastoise has never had a Move animation where it uses the cannons on its back, when I believe it could easily be done if the game creators cared enough. To me, little examples like this are a reflection of how developers and The Pokemon Company have treated the games for the longest time. Doing the bare minimum when they have the actual means to be better. They are capable of it, but it seems like they never really try. via /r/pokemon https://ift.tt/2qWvOgo